careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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