I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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