i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
