Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
