No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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