i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
