we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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