I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
