We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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