Where is the hickey?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
