And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
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I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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