we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
