Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Terrible idea I love it
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
