hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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