i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
