oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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