I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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