You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
