uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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