Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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