God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
