Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
