what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
