I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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