Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Don't EVER smell your tampon
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Randomize
