I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
