i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize