Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
