Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
