No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
