She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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