i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
