We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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