Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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