my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
