Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's like God shit irony all over that family
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
