No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
