apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
