Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
