I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
