absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My Higher Power is John Stamos
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
