Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have already put on my inside pants.
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