My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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