Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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