she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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