you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
