He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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