none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
