If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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