is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
