my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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