i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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