you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
