i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
