it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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