If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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