I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
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it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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