yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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