And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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